anger

Anger, Ridicule, and Humility

Anger, Ridicule, and Humility 150 150 JP

Some people have a real problem when others make them feel a certain way. To me, you have to allow someone to make you feel a certain way which is why those closest to you can have the greatest impact, positive and negative. At the same time, context matters. Someone you don’t really know making fun of something could roll off your back, or it could make you the angriest, while the person you love could have the opposite effect… or affect. Grammar?! The issue is in how you respond. If you snap back with a stern “fuck off” or start yelling at the other person, that’s not good and in my case will cause me to laugh even more, perpetuating the initial problem you had.

I have the unfortunate habit of laughing even when things aren’t supposed to be funny. Plenty of ass whoppings as a kid resulted from that. As I got older, it turned into a defense mechanism to alpha behavior at school and work, which only annoyed those trying to be “big shots.” So, in a way it was a good thing to cultivate and allow. I’m also not phased by people in leadership or authority positions trying to beta trap me or condescend. Good luck not getting ridiculed. At the same time, when I’m the one in that position, I laugh off ridicule and remain cool under pressure generally.

However, there is always an outlier. You know, that one person who can take a joke one minute but the next you go too far. Since I don’t enjoy feeling like a bully, a quick apology helps, but if there’s any flip flopping, the next time I won’t be so nice. My dad was a great jokester… about everything except his hair and sleep apnea. He would fall asleep in a chair at a moments notice. In my 20’s when I came home it would be a joke to make which he personally never mentioned because he was a good sport. My mom however, pulled me aside one day and gave me the strong “don’t do that” warning. I listened. Even if my dad had said that specifically, I would have listened. Some people don’t want any ridicule. Bollocks.

In my house ridicule is required. It promotes humility and keeps you humble. Also, no one is allowed to dish and not receive. IF the joke isn’t funny that’s one thing. If it is and you don’t like it and you decide to snap back or get mad… oooooooo. Better develop a thicker skin – within reason. I never promote bullying, have been the victim of it too. I do promote fighting back with words and wit and reason. I hope my son won’t bust my chops too much as I age.